Engrish Lesson Touga X Saionji Crackfic
by CatalunaRei
Summary: Touga tries to teach Saionji English. lolz crackfic


**Just so you know, The italicized writing is Touga's thoughts.**

Engrish Lesson 

I handed Kyouichi a bowl of strawberry ice cream.

"Arigato." he mumbled

" Douitashimashite, Kyo." ( You're welcome , Kyo)

I ate a spoonful of the pink ice cream from my own bowl. " So…Have you got any ideas ?"

" Uh. How 'bout Osaka ?"

"I don't know." I sighed. " Choosing a place for us to have that vacation turned out to be more difficult than I had expected."

Saionji put a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth and I couldn't stand to look away.

_The way Kyouichi's wet tongue trailed along the spoon..licking it clean.._

_That mouth..could be used for so many other things…_

I grinned at the thought.

Amethyst eyes looked at me with suspicion. " What ?" He spat.

I laughed nervously "Eto..I was just..Uh..."

" That's what I thought."

He passed me a few magazines and smiled somewhat " I picked these up from the stand near the train station. I thought we'd need it..Seeing as you and I are both pretty picky."

"Thanks."

I put down the bowl and flipped through a magazine. Colorful pictures of hotels, pools, room, and beaches filled each page.

Then something caught my eye.

_A beautiful scene of Hawaii and its picturesque beaches. _

The Hilton Hotel was in just the right spot…

Hmm..Wouldn't be too bad of an idea for us to go there for our honey moon…

"Uh-huh." Saionji muttered dazedly. Then he practically yanked the spoon out of his mouth and gave me this bewildered look.

"WHAT?" He exclaimed.

" Wait a minute..Did I..Did I just say that out loud ? " I felt blood rushing to my face. " This is quite embarrassing."

"Damn right. And just _who_ was it you were talking about , Touga? "

" Who do you think. Kyouichi ?"

Saionji muttered blackly. "You and _Uten_-"

"No ! Me and _You_ !"

" Me and…You." Saionji said blankly. All of a sudden he began to laugh.

" What the hell is so funny ?"

"We're _seventeen_, Touga. Its just…I dunno.. Weird." He said in between laughter.

" What's weird ? "The honey moon thing" or "The me and you" thing ?" I said angrily.

_If I had only known that Saionji would laugh at me for thinking about spending the rest of my life with him then I would have never asked him to go on a trip with me._

Another spoonful of the frozen treat went into his mouth. He though for a while.

"I guess thinking of you and I being newly weds and all. Don't it seen awkward to you ?"

I felt my face harden,. "No. I though it would be nice."

"Uh." He gave me a wry smile "H-hai."

I heaved a heavy sigh and began looking through those magazines again.

"We could go to America for our honey moon…" he mumbled.

This time I laughed.

"What's so damn funny ?"

I answered a little too truthfully. "The thought of you speaking English…Or "Engrish" for the matter."

"Eh ?I'm good at Engrish !"

" _Exactly_."

"Dammit ,Touga . _I'm_ the smart one ! Remember ?"

Yeah sure..But _I'm_ the one who wear the pants in the relationship. Remember _that_ ?" I teased.

"God dammit , Touga ! How many times have I told you ? We _share_ the pants ! OKAY ?"

_Any more of this argument and I think Saionji will give himself a brain hemorrhage _.

" Alright ."

"Your just so…" Saionji growled. "Just 'cuz you've been to America like a thousand times and speak fluent Engrish. (_You mean English, Saionji) _Ok I'm just gonna stop talkin' now. I mean I come over to your house in hopes of relaxing and get _this _in return. You're a _horrendous_ boyfriend ! I mean c'mon !"

Don't get so upset, Saionji-kun." I pleaded. "Tell you what. We go to my beach house in Kyoto this year and next year we go to America, I teach you English and everything will be fine."

"I told you Touga. I'm fine in Engrish ( _Its** English**__, Kyo_). I got like an 80-something in that class last year."

"Yes, but you're only in Engrish-I mean English 3 there's still a lot for you to learn and your boyfriend will teach it to you."

Saionji simply couldn't hide the grimace in his face.

_He just hates giving in._

"Fine."

* * *

I couldn't help laughing. Saionji looked so adorable.

Eyes transfixed on the textbook Saionji pronounced every word with an adorable Japanese accent rolling off his tongue.

All of a sudden he closed the book.

" I quit."

'Don't."

"Well..I sound stupid Touga…I just cant..Especially not when you're laughing at me like I'm an idiot and all."

" I think you sound adorable, Kyouichi-kun."

Saionji glared at me.

I sighed. "Don't be so upset, okay ? Just open the book and let us continue."

* * *

"Translate this sentence."

"Hai." He frowned thoughtfully. " Boku no okasan..hmm.. My muh-ter veeseeted heem today.

"Mother." I corrected.

"Mo- fuck this."

" You were doing fine. Now, repeat after me. 'Mother'."

Saionji repeated slowly. "Mother."

"Mother."

"Mother."

"See. You did well."

"Hai."

"Repeat: 'Visited' "

"Vee-see-tid."

"Visited."

"Veesited."

"Visited."

"Visited."

"Him."

"Heem."

"Him."

"Him."

"Now say the entire sentence."

"Hai. My mother visited him ."

I kissed Kyouichi on the forehead. " Now that wasn't so bad was it ?"

He smiled awkwardly. " I guess not."

" Repeat: After lunch."

" Afteruu Runchuu."

A smile of admiration crept across my face.

_He's even cuter when he's doing everything wrong…_

I put my hands on his face turning him to look me in the eyes.

"Nani ?" He said innocently.

"After lunch."

"Af-teh-ru runchuu."

"After Lunch."

"After runchuu."

"After lunchu."

"After lunch."

'After lun-"

Saionji stopped abruptly. Then we both realized how close our faces had gotten in between repetitions.

"Keep going." I whispered.

"After lun-chuu."

I closed the space between us, capturing his bottom lip in between mine.

He pulled back. "This isn't gonna help, Touga. With your sex drive and my attention span all we'll accomplish by tonight is fucki-"

"Gomen ne. Its my fault."

"True that." he agreed. "Its all completely and utterly your fault.

_Thanks.._

_"_I think I'll just find you a tutor. It'll make it easier on the both of us."

Kyouichi's eyes lit up. "You'd really do that for me ?"

I ruffled his hair. "Of course I would. Ashiteru yo. ( I love you)."

He opened his mouth to say something but I silenced him with my lips. "Try saying that in English."

Saionji blinked a couple of times.

"I rove you."

Chuu~

* * *

Sorry if the fluff in this crackfic killed you XDD. This is yet another result of boredom and just too much freakin' free time.

Leave a review ! : D


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